Wondering if your partner, a date, or children can come? Your invitation should quickly answer that question based on who the envelope is addressed to. If you’re in a couple, you may get one invitation addressed to you both at one address or a separate invitation sent specifically to your partner if they don’t live with you. If you are single, the invitation will explicitly state “plus one” or “and guest.” You can then add your chosen guest’s name on the RSVPs. “We have come to a place where if you are receiving a plus one, you are welcome to bring whomever you’d like—your mother, your sibling, a best friend,” notes Post. “It doesn’t have to be a romantic date.” As for kids? “If your children’s names or ‘and family’ are listed either on the outer or inner envelope, that means your children are invited,” she shares. If additional guests outside yourself are not listed, do not write their names on your RSVP card as they are not invited.
Wedding Gift Etiquette
Another obligation that comes with attending someone’s wedding? Sending the couple a gift. Even if you receive an invite that you have to decline, it’s polite to send something still. “This doesn’t have to be a big gift, but it is customary. The reason is this is one of—if not the most—significant moments in someone’s life. To witness it, be a part of it, and celebrate it is a really big honor,” says Post. “My absolute favorite is a picture frame engraved with the date of the wedding on it.”
Giving a yes RSVP? Then giving a gift to the couple is an absolute must. However, you don’t have to spend a standard amount per wedding present. “Your gift budget is totally up to you,” shares Post. “It does not have to be over $100, and it does not have to be off the registry either. You are the person buying and giving this. It’s up to you what you spend on it, what it is, and how you do it.” She advises choosing a gift based on what is appropriate for your budget. This can be buying a few small pieces off the registry or contributing a nice sum to the honeymoon fund. Of course, if a couple states something like “your presence is a gift” on the invitation, it is appropriate to forgo buying a present. Bringing a nice handwritten card to the wedding is a great alternative if you still want to give something.
