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Salary Story: I Took A Promotion — Then Quickly Moved On Without Guilt

In our series Salary Stories, women with long-term career experience open up about the most intimate details of their jobs: compensation. It’s an honest look at how real people navigate the complicated world of negotiating, raises, promotions and job loss, with the hope it will give young people more insight into how to advocate for themselves — and maybe take a few risks along the way.
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Age: 30
Location: Washington, DC area 
Current industry and job title: 
Senior sales engineer, Technology
Current salary: $200,000
Number of years employed since school or university: Eight
Starting salary: $21,000 in 2015
Biggest salary jump: My salary jumped by $67,000 when I changed careers from consulting ($120,000) to sales engineer for a tech company ($187,000 with a stock grant).
Biggest salary drop: N/A

Biggest negotiation regret: I wish I’d negotiated my current salary more. I’m very happy with my pay, however, a friend of mine who joined my company in my same role a couple months after I did negotiated their salary and it resulted in a higher base  salary for them. I was so thrilled to be offered the salary I was, I just took it! Lesson learned: always negotiate, never feel guilty for your success. 

Best salary advice: It’s not worth staying in a job in a toxic environment just in the hope that you can get a slightly higher salary with your next raise. It usually makes more sense to start looking at other jobs, which will most likely result in more pay and probably a better experience. Also, be wary of signing bonuses! Know the payback terms. The company usually has a clause. If you leave your role within two years of signing the contract and you have accepted a sign on bonus, you must pay back the full amount of the sign on bonus, including tax.

This was my first job and I so badly wanted to work in the higher education industry. After struggling through my college applications, I found the process overall stressful and confusing, and I aspired to help high school students through the process. However, I ended up realizing that college admissions didn’t sit well with me, and the salary was far too low to live on. Plus, since I was on temporary contract, I had NO benefits at all. 

I was staying with my parents post-college and after mid-summer, my parents set a hard deadline: move out by Labor Day. I was very inexperienced and had no idea what was required to live on, and $21,000 seemed like a lot as a new grad!

Shortly before my contract ran out, I applied for jobs closer to home. I’d moved across the country for my job in higher ed and gotten very lonely. I found a job that would train me up on the skills needed to become an IT  consultant using a cloud-based software product. I was closer to my family and friends, I had enough money to live and save a little, and I was happy with the change even though I didn’t love the job.  

I’d moved in with three roommates. Financially I was pretty broke, I even worked two jobs for a bit (one part-time on top of my full-time one) to pay off debt. I tried to negotiate my sign on salary in my full-time job, and I was told no.

First promotion! It was pretty much a guaranteed promotion, and while it was small monetarily it felt like a big milestone.

It was a small company with a growing client base, and as long as I was hitting my target metrics I could expect to advance to the next level position. Promotion roles were pretty clear cut and the pathway was relatively fast for the lowest-level consultants. I got another standard adjustment bump a year later to $62,000.

A little before Christmas, HR called me into their office. I was sure I was going to get fired, but it turned out that the company had been experiencing a lot of attrition and they were raising the salaries of top-performing employees to stay in line with market demand.

They gave me a $10,000 raise on the spot, and I left that meeting incredibly shocked and grateful! I accepted the first offer as it was so unexpected, and I used the money to pad my savings so it didn’t change my standard of living in any meaningful way.

I received my second promotion at the company and was bumped up a good amount to $85,000. But at this point, I was feeling stagnant and burned out in the role. I wanted a job that would surround me with people more in my age-range and require a more in-office presence so I could network and get my feet on the ground at client site (the pre-pandemic irony!). 

I had continued to perform well and meet my metrics, so I did fight for this promotion for the first time. I worked closely with my manager to create a case and outline my business contributions, as well as their benefit to the company’s growing portfolio. It was well-deserved. While the promotion felt good, I was still ready for something new.

I took a similar role at a different firm that paid $12,000 more and had better benefits, like a fitness subsidy. 

However, they down-leveled me in title with the assurance I could apply for promotion within the year. Unfortunately, this role began just before the COVID pandemic started, and I quickly found all the the  things that I had left my previous job for (like a larger peer group, in-person opportunities, client travel) were on  hold indefinitely. And guess what — so were promotions!

Plus, the job was brutal as it was at a high stress, high pressure big consulting firm. I quickly became very stressed out and unhappy but with the pandemic happening, I felt like I had to stay. Additionally, I’d accepted a $10,000 sign-on bonus and leaving before my two-year commitment was up would mean I’d need to pay it back. Even though I only took $6,000 after tax, I’d need to pay the full $10,000.

I was finally promoted into the role I’d been promised I could quickly climb to when I first joined. By this point, the toxic  environment had taken a toll. I was exhausted, tired of being stressed and working 60-hour weeks, and I was ready to look for a new role. Although the pay raise was substantial, I was determined to leave.  

The pay wasn’t worth it. I felt incredibly drained and stressed, and the environment was tough. The urgency was always very high, but we didn’t get to see the impact of our work as the projects we worked on were often never implemented. The lack of meaning and the stress led me to really understand that money doesn’t buy happiness, nor does a prestigious job. 

I left consulting completely and surprised myself by taking a job in sales, selling the same software I’d been consulting on. By this point, I had the industry expertise and knowledge to be hired as a senior level engineer in the organization. It was an intensive interview process, but the offer made it worthwhile. Because we were still mid-pandemic, this career pivot was done completely remotely and was challenging, but eventually I got the hang of it.

I felt like I didn’t deserve the raise in income at first. It was a life-changing amount of money that would really enable me to become more secure financially, but the level of imposter syndrome I felt was intense. The stock grant would vest over four years, with 25% vesting each year, so every year, after my first full year, $10,250 would be paid into my stock account in company stock. 

Recent years have rocked the tech industry and my company with layoffs, and it hasn’t been easy holding on with a smaller team and much higher workload. I’m grateful that I was able to keep my job through the worst of it. I enjoy the flexibility my job provides me to own my schedule and my deals, and more importantly, I love the people I work with.

Honestly, I don’t know how I got a pay rise in the context of lay offs. I received a moderate merit raise for my contributions to the business, which were directly measurable by the amount of capital I generated for the company. Cue another moment of feeling very undeserving and guilty. There was a lot of survivor’s guilt. I’m not passionate about, or even interested in tech, but I am good at my role and I was being rewarded in accordance with that.

I think it’s time for me to start thinking about jobs and roles that I will enjoy more, though — even if it comes with a pay decrease because the more successful I am — and the more money I make, the more trapped I feel even though I am so incredibly grateful and I love my coworkers.

I don’t know what I will consider next professionally, and I am scared to make a change. I’ve learned from this journey that money buys many things, but it doesn’t buy purpose or meaning if money and material gain is not a value that is close to your heart.

I always thought my “why” would be a family, but that hasn’t materialized for me yet. It’s time to think longer term and find my “why” now. Sometimes, though, it feels like it’s too late to change.

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