Shortly before Lulu Wang began shooting The Farewell in 2018, a friend introduced her to fellow filmmaker Barry Jenkins, suggesting, “Maybe you can get some advice from Barry.” But when Lulu met the Moonlight auteur at a hotel bar, she found their mutual appreciation for each other’s work blossomed into something more. “He suggested we eat at the bar, and I love eating at the bar. I used to write a blog called ‘Eat at the Bar,’” Lulu recalls. “He was like, ‘Do you think I should get a burger? If I got the burger, would you share that, or should I get the chicken?’ Drinks turned into dinner, family style, which is the only way my family and I eat, sharing everything. He immediately felt like home.”
In November 2023, Barry surprised Lulu with a proposal surrounded by their family and friends. “I was so shocked that I forgot to respond for several seconds until Barry reminded me that it was a question I actually had to answer,” Lulu says. Barry popped the question with a vintage ring featuring mine-cut diamonds that sit in the shape of a flower. “A friend introduced me to a jeweler who specializes in antiques and vintage jewels, Laurel Stearns,” Barry says. “This way, everything I looked at had a history, a story that Lulu and I would be continuing. I really thought she would be moved by that.” The ring reminds Lulu of their garden. “I’m not a big jewelry person, but it feels very me,” she says. “The beautiful thing about Barry is that oftentimes I don’t know myself enough. He really knows me.”
Despite their engagement, Lulu and Barry were not rushing to plan a wedding. “We’re not big wedding people. We’re not traditional at all,” she says. But last year, while on a trip to Greece, Lulu received a powerful message that caused the pair to stop in their tracks. “A friend of mine said, ‘I’ve never recommended her to anyone, but I have this feeling that you should go see this shaman that I work with,’” Lulu recalls. “When I went to go see her, she welcomed me and my ancestors into the room.” Among them was her beloved grandmother, who inspired The Farewell and died in 2020. “[The shaman] said, ‘There’s a lot happening for you guys, and there’s a lot that’s coming. Your grandma is here and she’s saying, Get married, get married.’” Lulu’s grandmother wasn’t the only matriarch present that day. While she inquired if Barry’s mother, who passed away last year, was present, the shaman replied, “No, I don’t see a mother, but I see a woman who’s calling herself auntie.’” It was Barry’s grandmother Minerva, whom he called Aunt Minerva “because she felt like she was too young to be called a grandma,” Lulu says. “She suggested to honor your ancestors, to stop fighting against tradition, and just go and make it official.”
