We all have cheeky little pre-bedtime rituals that we do in the shadows. Perhaps you make it a mission to read a chapter or two of a book before dozing off into dreamland. Or perhaps you mindlessly scroll on TikTok instead, further feeding into your freakily-good algorithm until your eyelids close. Me, I have a more specific habit that I enjoy doing night after night: I take great delight in watching complete strangers buy a Birkin bag.
Now, can I afford a luxurious Hermès Birkin, which can go for upwards of $40,000 (with some priced in the six figures)? Absolutely not. My budget is more aligned with the Wirkin (look it up). But even so, for the past few months, I have obsessively watched countless well-off customers treat themselves to a Birkin bag on LoveLuxury’s TikTok page, where the sale exchanges are theatrically filmed as skits for our viewing pleasure. (LoveLuxury is a secondhand store with locations in London and Dubai, both fast becoming a destination for rare and luxurious bags.)
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If you need me in the evenings, you can now find me in bed, watching as a new customer enters the boutique and shops for a new Birkin to celebrate their birthday or promotion. (One customer purchased the aspirational accessory to celebrate marrying a millionaire—goals.) Sure, I cannot relate to the interactions, but night after night, I have found that I can fantasize about choosing between gold or palladium hardware, or weigh the pros and cons of a Birkin 25 versus a Birkin 30. (Me, personally? Birkin 30, all the way). It has become my twisted little form of evening escapism.
There is a sense of joy and entertainment, after all, in trying to relate to the one percent. “This is a bit too gray,” one client will say, doubting a perfectly-chic neutral Birkin. Ah, yes, I will agree. Far too gray-hued. “I’m not so sure this will go with many different outfits,” another will ponder of a two-tone style, while I shake my head in agreement. Too trendy. Who am I to act so discerning? If I were ever to be offered a Birkin, in any shape or color, I would simply take it and run for the hills. (You can sell that baby in five years, and make a serious return!)
