The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are in a state of beautiful disarray. There are two minutes to go until halftime, when they’ll perform an eight-minute routine in front of 80,000 people at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas—and 17 million more on national television. But they just got back to the locker room from the sidelines. And now, well, they’ve gotta get ready to perform an eight-minute routine in front of 80,000 people at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, and 17 million more on national television.
Two sprint from their locker room to the bathroom, jumping over a Smucker’s Uncrustable left on the floor as they go. The rest whip out their hot tools—Dysons, Sharks, T3 wands, and one contraption that I’ve come to believe is known only to the cheerleaders and God himself—and are curling, drying, and teasing with remarkable speed. “Dyson that hair, and call it good!” one shouts to another, her fake-lash-lined eyes laser focused on the game clock. “Ow, ow, ow,” another cheerleader, Reece, whispers as she forces a comb through strands as soaked with sweat as with hairspray. (Another has no time for brushes: Instead, she rips a Velcro star off her uniform, using its sequins to flatten her flyaways.)
