“Communication is key to keeping the peace. The last thing you want is a misunderstanding and you find yourself coming up short, or someone feeling like they need to contribute more than they expected,” adds Carlson.
If your family is helping to significantly foot the bill, you might find yourself in tricky situations where they are insisting on their way rather than your way. If you can foresee that happening, you may want to consider taking care of the expenses yourself. “You’ll be far calmer having the wedding you want on your terms, even if you ultimately end up scaling back the festivities,” says Carlson.
How much couples contribute on average
Today, more couples are directly contributing to the wedding. Simultaneously, more grooms’ families are also willing to split costs. Want specific statistics? According to a recent survey by The Knot, on average, parents contribute to 50% of the wedding budget, while couples pay the remaining half. Meanwhile, Zola found that one-third of couples are covering all of their wedding costs on their own.
Curious if older couples are expected to pay more? “Age has very little to do with paying for the wedding,” says Carlson. “It’s really more about how financially sound the couple is on their own, as well as the role their family wants to play in the wedding.” Post agrees: “Age shouldn’t be a factor when contributing. Whether you are getting married in your 40s or 30s or 20s, a parent should want to help, as long as it is financially viable for them.”
Wondering how to word invitations if the couple pays? If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding, then only their names need to be on the invite. If it is a combination of the couple and parents, something like the following works, according to Emily Post’s Etiquette Centennial: “Together with our families, Casey Collet and Felix Edgers invite you to join in celebrating their marriage.”
What the wedding party pays for
In addition to the small duties of providing emotional support or searching for the groom’s missing bowtie, a wedding party member may also be expected to contribute financially to a portion of the events. Traditionally, the wedding party will pay for their own personal attire and a gift for the couple. They are also expected to pay for their own travel to the wedding. In some cases, a couple and their families may help cover the costs of their lodging, but it’s not expected.
