One route is a colorful, non-diamond center stone. “Historically, colored gemstones were actually the original choice for engagement rings,” Moross shares, who nods to sapphires, emeralds, and rubies as stones that add character and a personal narrative. “The point is to choose something that feels authentic to you and your partner.”
10. Consider working directly with a jeweler to create a custom ring.
“Custom feels more special than just walking into a store and picking something,” Hannah explains. “Generally speaking, a lot of people now want something that walks the line between vintage and modern. It’s not so much about a big diamond anymore—they want quality over size, or a unique shape, like a rose cut. And a lot of people are ditching diamonds altogether. I made a really beautiful ring with alexandrite, which is a color-change stone that is greenish-blue in the daylight and purple in incandescent light. [Engagement rings] aren’t one size fits all anymore.”
11. ….and leave enough time for it
If you decide to go the custom route, Moross suggests leaving about six to eight weeks for the process. “The biggest factor is sourcing the perfect stone, which sets the entire design in motion,” she explains. The idea that you need three to six months? A fallacy, she says. “Whether I’m making your engagement ring or a tenth-anniversary piece, the craftsmanship remains the same and shouldn’t be needlessly dragged out.”
12. Look into how well this ring matches the wedding band.
Traditionally, fiancèes receive an engagement ring at the proposal and a wedding band at the ceremony. We know tradition won’t always be followed, but in the case that it is, be sure to keep the wedding band design in mind. Wedding bands tend to be much more simple than the engagement ring, even if it has an engraving or inlaid gems. An engagement ring usually has a lot of details at play, and this is one aspect you’ll want to keep in mind along the way.
13. Bring a trusted confidant with you to shop for the engagement ring.
Engagement ring shopping can be a daunting task—get by with a little help from your friends. Ask those who’ve gotten engaged for jeweler recommendations and call upon someone who knows you and your future spouse and whose taste you respect. Nine times out of ten the person you’re buying for has an idea of what they want in their head and may have expressed it to said friend (or added to a Pinterest board). That friend will know exactly what your soon-to-be-fiancée will want, whether it’s a cushion cut diamond with a halo setting or a rose gold band with a single round brilliant stone.
14. Clarify those measurements.
With the help of a family member, sibling, or trusted confidant, find your fiancée’s correct ring measurements while you research gem cuts and settings. It’ll most certainly look suspicious if you’re caught with a string around your fiancée’s finger when she’s not looking, so sending in a third party with discretion advised might be best. Proposals are exciting and overwhelming, but a too-loose or tight ring could dull the breathtaking moment. Just be sure to ask for measurements of both ring fingers.
15. Don’t commit to a ring without knowing the store’s exchange policy.
Unlike the matrimonial commitment you’re hoping to make, try to avoid entering into a binding agreement with the jeweler when you buy a ring. Worst-case scenario, if your intended hates what you’ve come up with, you should be able to exchange it for something else. You want your future spouse to love both you and the jewelry you buy forever.
16. Check out insurance policies on the ring.
For the fiancées who fiddle with their hand jewelry, who often misplace their personal items, and who may have a job that requires them to remove their ring—this one’s for you. No one likes to think about the possibility of losing such a meaningful piece of jewelry, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Engagement ring insurance is exactly what it sounds like: financial protection that can cover replacement, repairs, or cost reimbursement for your ring. Although it’s not the most romantic aspect of this process, it’s equally vital to consider.
17. Picking the perfect ring has nothing to do with the price tag.
During the Depression, in a campaign that would’ve made Don Draper proud, De Beers’s advertising geniuses started running an ad pushing men to spend one month’s salary on a ring if they wanted to be “responsible.” By the 1980s, it jumped up to two months. These days, the rule of thumb that’s often referenced is that one should fork over at least three months’ salary when purchasing this piece of forever jewelry. This is all just clever marketing and has nothing to do with how to buy an engagement ring.
