Drawing up your wedding guest list and confused about who gets plus ones? You are far from alone: wedding plus-one etiquette is a highly searched topic by the newly engaged, as many just want to know who, exactly, they are obligated to invite to their wedding.
Sure, you might be aware that under most circumstances, the other half of a friend in a married couple should be invited. But what about your friend who is in a long-term relationship? Or a cousin who is casually dating? Add in the financial factor—an extra person is an extra cost—and crafting a guest list can quickly become stressful, even if you have every intent of being as inclusive as possible.
“To the couples out there experiencing this obstacle in their wedding planning journey, I hope you can take solace in the fact that you’re not alone,” says celebrity wedding planner Matthew David Hopkins. “Millions of couples have gone through—or are going through—this difficult stage in the planning process, and have gotten over this hurdle.”
So, for those stressing over who should get a plus-one on your special day, Vogue has written an etiquette guide about additional guests. No need to fret—follow these tried-and-true wedding plus-ones rules.
1. Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests Traditionally Receive a Plus-One
As a rule of thumb, Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette says spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should receive an invitation. “Even if you’ve never met or they are not your favorite people, your guest is part of a package deal,” authors Anne and Lizzie Post explain.
Some of the other hidden guests you should invite on your wedding day? The spouse or significant other of your ceremony officiant, as well as both parents of ring bearers and flower girls.
2. Everyone in the Bridal Party Should Receive a Plus-One
The rules about cohabitation, dating, and marriage go out the window when it comes to plus-ones for your wedding party. Not only does a happy wedding party make a happy couple, but allowing a bridesmaid to bring her new boyfriend, for example, is a small token of appreciation you can offer in exchange for her efforts and support, suggests Amber Harrison, a wedding expert at Shutterfly. Think of it as a “thank you” for every occasion your bridal party has had to organize and participate in over the past year.
3. For Additional Guests, Have Clear Criteria
Hypothetically, if you allow one single guest outside the bridal party to invite a more casual partner or friend, then you should allow all single guests to do so. (“It’s hard to give singles a plus-one and other others,” Anne and Lizzie Post write. “You can risk hurt feelings.”) However, weddings are expensive, and adding so many extra names may not be feasible for a couple and their budget.
