Thanks to my mom and her younger sister, two Sandra Bullock superfans who would regularly meet up to watch Miss Congeniality or Two Weeks Notice while doing laundry and drinking Coke Zeros, I’ve been a lover of romantic comedies since I was roughly two years old.
For a time, my mom and aunt’s tastes led me to believe that the best of the genre featured hyper-competent, successful, somewhat steely women, like FBI agent Gracie Hart or environmental lawyer Lucy Kelson, being slowly broken down by the promise of true and lasting love. But when I was a teenager, and they showed me Bridget Jones’s Diary for the first time, I met a very different archtype. Drinking heavily, smoking incessantly, quaffing fattening cheeses, and constantly daydreaming about love and/or marriage, Bridget finally made me feel seen—even if a little uncomfortably.
Now, is Bridget Jones the ideal example of feminism personified? Not necessarily—but who says she has to be? For all her flaws and foibles, I learned more about love from Bridget’s onscreen antics than I ever had before—her story proving that even a medium-strength mess of a woman can be warm, witty, passionate, and eminently deserving of being whisked away by Colin Firth.
Ahead of the release of Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy (which I am obviously going to see the day it opens) next week, here, a list of the 10 lessons about love that I gleaned from Bridget Jones’s Diary:
1. Prioritize your chosen family of “singletons” above all else…
…including your romantic relationship (or your attempt to find one). Your friends are the ones who will be there to hold your hair back when you’ve overdone it on wine units, and therefore deserve your ultimate loyalty.
2. When in doubt, wear underwear that actually fits you on dates.
A person who genuinely thinks you’re hot will not be put off by “scary, stomach-holding-in panties.”
3. It’s just not that important to be a good cook.
The ability to prepare a meal for your suitor is nice and all, but if they’re scared off by your “blue soup” (made as a result of leaving plastic on vegetables accidentally, which could happen to anyone and has absolutely happened to me), they’re not worth your time.
4. The right person won’t make you choose between love and work.
You have no business falling in love with someone who doesn’t prioritize your career at least as much as you do, even if said career involves being filmed sliding down a firefighter’s pole. No, they may not always be a powerful lawyer with the ability to get you the crucial interview you need, but they should want to see you succeed.
5. Making a fool of yourself is actually an act of radical vulnerability that should be appreciated.
If they don’t love you drunk at Christmas karaoke with a tinsel crown on your head and a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, they don’t love you enough!
6. Relatedly: Your ideal partner should encourage your hobbies…
…even if said hobbies are limited to eating ice cream out of the carton and scrawling drunken notes in your diary while you listen to Celine Dion.
7. If your family chaos scares them off early, good riddance.
While your own mother may not necessarily abscond with a men’s-jewelry-wearing infomercial host, something familial and difficult will inevitably crop up over the course of your relationship, and it’s better to know sooner rather than later if your lover is going to run at the first sign of drama.
8. That said: Give people the benefit of the doubt…
…because sometimes Hugh Grant is lying about said people cheating with his ex, and in fact it was Hugh Grant who cheated with their ex.
9. The right person for you will commit to the bit, 100% of the time.
Anyone who ghosts you at a costume party where you’re dressed like a Playboy bunny simply sucks.
10. Above all, find someone who likes you very much, just as you are.
Not, as Bridget’s friends incredulously say, “Thinner? Or with slightly larger breasts?”Just as you are!
